Welcome To Ridiculously Singapore

I propose they quickly put this in our immigration arrival cards for visitors to Singapore:

Welcome to Singapore

As you may know, our judiciary this week denied a Constitutional challenge to one of our very old and established pieces of an old and established piece of legislation.

We wish to inform all visitors that there is no cause for worry. It was an expected outcome. Our judiciary has always been the kind of institution that would effectively say that it was not within their scope of work to uphold whatever rights that are in the nation’s Constitution.

Furthermore, there are no limits to the Constitutional amending power of Parliament anyway, which means that our nation’s Parliament can simply change the Constitution to entrench GLBT rights when the time is right to do so.

But in the meantime while you are visiting Singapore, please be informed that the police can come knocking on your door and say they suspect you of having gay sex, because the law as it has been left standing says they can come knocking on your door suspecting you of having gay sex.

If you are thinking of applying for a job and settling down on our city in a garden because you like our local grub and clime so much, your prospective employer can also ask you if you have engaged in gay sex, and if you took offence, he can say it was a valid question because it is within his rights to know if you have criminal tendencies. He may reject your job application because the law, as it has been left standing, says he CAN.

If you did successfully apply for an Employment Pass and managed to rent an apartment, your landlord could evict you if he found evidence of you having engaged in gay sex on his premises because they law, as it as been left standing, says he CAN.

The Neighbourhood Watch can also survey your residence and report any suspected criminal activity to the police, because the law, as it has been left standing, says they CAN.

If the locals call you names such as Faggot, Homo, Ah Kua, Bapok, Pondan and berate you for being a criminal, don’t worry. It is merely because they are upright and law-abiding citizens screaming in your face such things because the law that has been left standing says they CAN.

We hope your enjoy your stay. Don’t forget to visit the new aquarium on Sentosa.

Can?

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