Itâ€™s a pity my stay-in reservist days are over (right, MINDEF?), because this Dove GoFresh Shower Gel wouldâ€™ve come in real handy.
I might have mentioned in many Army story-tellings about how my reservist mates, when weâ€™re done with field training, come back to barracks all muddied and sweaty and how we contemplate with great anticipation the luxury of a cold shower after weâ€™re done cleaning our two dozen weapons that weâ€™ve regretted firing so much ammunition from, because, as those in the know will tell you, the more you shoot, the dirtier the parts get and why canâ€™t they invent a rifle that cleans itself dammit?
It is at this point that the reservists in the barrack bunk take out all manner of toiletries from their cupboards, and we start to discuss the merits of the different stuff we use because as gung-ho combat armoured troopers who are at our countryâ€™s beck and call, we need to smell nice and feel clean.
A typical conversation while weâ€™re re-assembling our weapons might go like this:
M203 Grenadier / Citibank Personal Banker: â€œEh, ä½ è¿™ä¸ª shower gel å¥½ç”¨å—ï¼Ÿ
Section Automatic Weapon Gunner / Secondary School Teacher: â€œæˆ‘ç”¨æ˜¯å¥½ç”¨å•¦ã€‚ä½ try æ¥çœ‹å’¯ã€‚â€œ
M203 Grenadier / Citibank Personal Banker: â€œOK, thanks ah.â€
Section Automatic Weapon Gunner / Secondary School Teacher : â€œä½ ä¸è¦æŠŠä»–ç”¨åˆ°å®Œ å•Šï¼Œ ä¸ç„¶æˆ‘æŠŠè¿™ä¸ª five-piece rod æ”¾åœ¨ä½ çš„ backside!â€
Itâ€™s a good thing I didnâ€™t get that kind of threat from the nice people at Dove, whoâ€™ve very kindly given me a whole (small) bottle of Green Tea and Cucumber scented Dove GoFresh for me to ç”¨åˆ°å®Œ till my heartâ€™s content.
I like nice-smelling things that make me clean at the same time. And while previously, like many of my reservist mates, I used to be a plain soap and water kinda guy, age and dry skin has pushed me to use slightly more delicate products, and while Iâ€™m not exactly a discerning fella when it comes to choosing these things, I do like soaps that moisturize slightly without making me feel as if Iâ€™ve accidentally washed myself with hair conditioner.
And as for singing in the shower, well, just like everyone else, the odd reservist does belt it out for the whole platoon to hear, only itâ€™s not appreciated as much â€“ and thatâ€™s understandable when thereâ€™s only 6 shower stalls to share between 50 guys, and thereâ€™s a queue of troopers in towels waiting their turn.
Instead of â€œEncoreâ€, youâ€™ll probably hear something like â€œOi! One verse enough, no need to sing the chorus two times! Hurry up! ä¸ç„¶æˆ‘æ”¾ five piece rod åœ¨ä½ çš„ backside!â€
If you do need a more appreciative audience (apart from yourself or your loved one) when you sing in the shower, you might want to sign up for Doveâ€™s gofresh ShowerOK! Competition, to be held from 31 July till 8 August at Vivo City.
Your audience can then vote for you on www.doveshowerok.com, where your recorded performances are uploaded, and they might win an iPod Touch for their efforts as well.
And if you sing and win, you stand a chance of winning a private yacht party â€œfit for a ShowerOK star!â€
So get down there on those days between 12 and 8pm, and get your questions answered.
â€œWhat questions?â€, you may well ask. Well, such as, â€œAm I really a good singer, or is my wife just humouring me?â€, and, â€œAre they going to be totally nekkid at VivoCity in front of thousands of people?â€