Wanted: Diaper Ninja Warrior

A full night’s sleep still eludes us as Kai still manages to stir for a night feed at least once in the night.

And by stir, I mean he cries loud enough to wake the neighbours. Doing things while sleep drunk should by now have been second nature to us, but second nature it isn’t, and it is still a challenge to keep our wits about us as we carry him from his cot, or when we find that he needs a diaper change.

I’m already a clumsy fella when I’m awake, so it’s necessary to snap myself into full baby care mode to make sure Kai’s transported, cleaned and changed without too much fuss or discomfort to him.

One thing that I’ve learned over the past couple of months is that in a flash, just like that, one nanosecond of a lapse of concentration, and you will get baby poop everywhere. Your shirt, your pants, your hands, your feet, the carpet, the wall. And when you finally manage to extract the very soiled diaper from the squirming baby, you make a new poop trail on the same places.

Worse, when once you had a baby with a full diaper, you now have one with poop all over his buttocks, legs and, oh no! Howdahelldiditgetontohishandsohnodon’ttouchyourfacewithit!

This diaper changing business is an exercise in concentration and focus. You and your carpet and whatever fabric you have in your home cannot afford to be complacent. I’ll be putting up posters to exhort myself not to slacken. It’ll be like those you see for Total Defence or national service or Dengue:

“Every second counts. Don’t let poop take over your nursery”

“The soil on my face is poop. My baby’s poop”.

“Poopy room. It is your fight.”

“He who hesitates is lost and has poop all over”

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6 thoughts on “Wanted: Diaper Ninja Warrior”

  1. Steps to becoming a diaper warrior:
    1. Arm yourself with leakproof diapers. Disposable or cloth, they must fit baby's butt securely with leakguards in place.
    2. Learn to support bb with one hand while other hand unwraps the diaper to toss into bin
    3. Dump bb into sink to wash away watery poo
    4. Lift upset bb from sink, toss him onto a dry towel to dry off
    5. Replace diaper, ensuring leakguards are well in place.
    Hey presto, you're done! 😛

  2. I found it quite easy to change my son's soiled diapers.

    When my son soils his diapers, I put a easy to wash simple foldable plastic thing (not sure how to describe it). Open up his diapers, lift his legs and use baby wipes to wipe his backside.

    But before you do that, make sure you have the wastepaper bucket next to you.

    I use the wiped wipes to place above the soil diapers and once he is clean, just fold the diapers accordingly and dump it into the wastepaper bucket.

    Haven't soiled the entire room though, maybe a bit of the bed sheet but it improves over time.

  3. I found it quite easy to change my son's soiled diapers.

    When my son soils his diapers, I put a easy to wash simple foldable plastic thing (not sure how to describe it). Open up his diapers, lift his legs and use baby wipes to wipe his backside.

    But before you do that, make sure you have the wastepaper bucket next to you.

    I use the wiped wipes to place above the soil diapers and once he is clean, just fold the diapers accordingly and dump it into the wastepaper bucket.

    Haven't soiled the entire room though, maybe a bit of the bed sheet but it improves over time.

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