Confinement tips

With this potion, I shall be invincible…. muahahahahaha!

We’ve had lots of advice on Naomi’s recovery, ranging mostly from slight quackery (cannot drink cold water) to pure quackery (cannot drink plain water unless it’s mixed with ground eye of newt, stirred counter-clockwise, on the cusp of a partial or total eclipse of the moon).

Naomi’s also been told she has to wear socks when walking around the house, because your Caesarean wound won’t heal properly if you don’t wear socks, never mind the head trauma when you slip and fall on the tiled floor.

There’s also the no-shower rule, which, shhh… don’t tell the rellies, we’ve flouted every day since Kai was born. And then there’s the diet.

Relatives have been convening every other day to discuss the merits of eating chicken, and whether eggs are also in the same controlled substance list, and whether to follow Chapter 75 or 127 of the Book of Quackery, which has conflicting advice but no provision for arbitration.

Our Confinement Nanny, although from the School of No Chicken Means No Eggs Confinement Diet, has demonstrated herself to be more of a moderate, thankfully. She lets Naomi shower, and she cooks a mean meal – we were treated last night to home-made char siew, can you believe that?

This morning, she also gave us this gem of a tip (maybe you already know this, but we’re slow like that, see?):

Store your wet wipes upside down (with the opening at the bottom). This way, your wet wipes are always… um… more wet.