Rednano’s shepherd’s pie vs Google’s shepherd’s pie

Shepherd's Pie
Free photo of Shepherd’s Pie, courtesy of Creative Commons search on Flickr – photo by Andy Ciordia

I thought I might join the fray, notwithstanding that rednano is this week an advertiser right on top of this webpage.

So SPH launches rednano with the intention of localising search results when I would have thought the way to go was to internationalise and globalise everything. But never mind, they say what is what lor.

Some bits of rednano’s ad campaigns focus on how when you do a search for PIE (because you don’t know where the PIE is) on any other search engine that is not localised Singaporeananly, you’ll get irrelevant results like ShepherdsPie.Com, which delivers shepherds pies… oh wait… in Singapore! How cool is that? I don’t need to drive down the PIE any more. Just call ShepherdsPie.Com at 6789 0707 and they’ll deliver!

Of course, if you really wanted to search locally on any other search engine, you’d refine your search by adding the word “Singapore” somewhere in your search term, just like I did when I Googled “PIE Singapore”.

So, really, rednano, notwithstanding the fact that they’re advertising on top of this website this week, is a superfluous search engine, unless you wanted to view SPH’s media library to see what media files you can purchase.

Now when you search “superfluous search engine“, you might get “rednano”. Search that!

Now for some of that delicious pie.

Poll:

[poll=3]

Prosperity first, life second

Safety first for what?

We saw this sign at a construction site. I think it was an MRT excavation site.

It all makes sense now – “Safety first for our prosperity”. Safety’s good for business. Doesn’t slow things down. Like when the highway caves in, or when cranes collapse. Nothing to do with the lives of the workers, who get ferried to and from work on very dangerous modes of transport anyway.

Ikea TampinesToday, while helping Naomi’s mum shop for things at IKEA Tampines (honest, we only bought two, three things for ourselves), I realised this problem was endemic. People simply don’t care about their kids’ safety.

Kids were simply running amok today (that sounds like an IKEA product too, “amok”), pushing each other in the trolleys and tearing down the aisles of the self serve areas where people were struggling to load shelves and other things on their trolleys. You might think it cute to hear little feet pitter pattering about, but it won’t be so cute when they go pitter patter pitter splatter.

Plus, being a Saturday, there were thousands of people there, several hundreds more than there were at the Singapore International Film Festival’s opening at Lido the night before. So, as you can imagine, it really was quite dangerous for the little ones to be running around.

So, this is what I want to say to parents of young children in Singapore:

If you really have to bring your young kids to IKEA for some reason or other (they can’t really be helping you carry your Fakum glasses and Rektum vases), keep them close to you.

Don’t let them run around where large boxes of unassembled Epileptik lights or Hemoroyt sofas can fall on their heads.

It’s ok if you want your kids to grow up as dumb as you. But it’s not fair for them to grow up dead. It’s not their fault because they don’t know better because they’re kids.

So please. Safety first, for yours and your kids’ lives. Can?

A gift from who?

Tooth Fairy
Come on, if you don’t give me your tooth, I can’t give you your GST rebate

The Tooth Fairy is someone who takes the tooth that has fallen out (or has been extracted then given back to you by the dentist) and replaces it with cash money, right?

The Straits Times seems to think they give out toothbrushes:

KIDS in Singapore could soon be using what seems like a gift from the Tooth Fairy: a toothbrush that helps them swab the nooks and crannies of their mouths without much effort.

So it should be a gift to the Tooth Fairy, because she wouldn’t be giving out so much money if your teeth are so healthily kept they don’t fall out, right?

Wait, then again, it could be a gift from the Tooth Fairy, cos she doesn’t want to give out so much cash money, and so would want your teeth to be healthy, right?

So confusing. My teeth hurt.

Directions

What next?
At what price though?

Some days I feel like this country’s going to shits.

There’s one fugitive on the loose, there’s one crime in a safe shopping mall, there’s one listed company that’s pissed off a hitherto loyal customer, and the most commonly used online streetdirectory is no more.

The last point is something close to my heart. I use the internet for everything. When Naomi tells me the toilet flush is broken, she sees me a few seconds later at the computer, and asks me if I’m trying to scour online forums for people with similar flush defects and how to fix them, and I say yes because the internet is an authority on everything, including why there was no CCTV inside the toilet at the Whitley Road Detention Centre.

Maps and streetdirectories are extremely important, given the price of fuel – you don’t want to go round and round like in an F1 race or an empty ferris wheel and get nowhere.

Google Maps for MobileThank goodness there’s Google Maps and Nokia Maps, both of which do a reasonably good job of letting me know where I’m going, and whether I’m on or off track.

Google Maps is particularly cool if you’ve got cash to burn on your data subscription with your mobile phone company. I pay a fixed rate to Starhub, and on my Nokia E65 that doesn’t have a built in GPS, the application still tells me where I am within a 1.7km radius. Which means you can be lost, but not hopelessly lost.

Nokia MapsBoth applications also allow you to prepare your driving routes before you head out, with planned routes, and in the case of Nokia Maps, a voice navigation (subscription based), tells you to turn left or right or go straight, so you can memorise the directions before going out, just like when you were using streetdirectory.com.

Last week, we were only half an hour late going to pick up Naomi’s mum from her home, because I was at home ensuring we would go the shortest distance in the shortest time based on what the mapping software told me.

My brother thought of a cool prank – record your voice saying turn left, turn right and go straight and save it as a ring tone and set it on one of your friend’s GPS enabled phones, and call him when he’s driving.

OK, maybe not so cool. OK, maybe a bit dangerous. Let me go tell him it’s not so funny any more.

But yeah, no need for streetdirectory.com. Their interface sucked anyway, and their pages were chock full of ads you had to navigate through before you could help navigate yourself.

Useful link: Lancerlord provides (via Indian Stallion) a list of online maps you can use.

Well, at least they’re not doing drugs

“Son, your mother and I worked very hard to make sure we have enough money put aside for your education. It has been worth it, knowing that this money will make you learn and practice things at Republic Polytechnic that will help make the world a better place – maybe do something about climate change, be the first scientist to discover how to reverse that.

Or maybe even synthesize a new energy source that will rid us of our dependence on non sustainable fuel.

It has been hard, with the economy dipping again while prices keep going up. We struggle to protect our rice bowl, but now, we might even find it hard to fill that rice bowl with rice.

What keeps us going is the thought that one day, you will do us proud, and save us all from life’s difficulties.

But then we heard in the news today that YOU FUCKING WENT AND ENTERED YOUR STUPID POLYTECHNIC’S LEAPFROGGING TEAM TO BREAK SOME FUCKING WORLD FUCKING RECORD FOR FUCKING LEAPFROGGING???!!!

What the fuck, son?

Love,
Dad.”