Mocking names

I’m not talking about Hongkongers and their ownself give ownself first names, but this list of baby names that will guarantee that the unfortunate children that are given some of the names will be remembered.

Neither am I talking about hip-hop and rap stars and their own brand of ownself give ownself first names, like Jay-Z and Five-Percent, but there’s this baby name spelled J-Me and pronounced Jamie.

And there’s our very own Ix Shen who named himself after Roman numerals, with the very slight possibility that he might have a conversation that goes:

Hi, and you are?

Ix. Ix Shen.

Pleased to meet you, Shen. That’s a bad hiccup you’ve got. Can I get you a glass of water?

Alternatively:

Oh, bless you. You know, you really shouldn’t keep a sneeze in. Damages the nasal passage.

Then there’s Texan child that was named ESPN by his parents, and you know that’s not a girl’s name.

There are

It’s hard to imagine that any of these names are for real. But tell that to the parents of this child in New Zealand who named their kid “4Real”:

Hi, and you are?

4real.

For real?

4real.

Sorry, did you say your name was 4real?

4real, 4real.

4real?

Can we talk about something else now?

There’s more. In 2005, in Texas, no less, a boy was named “Ranger“. I’d like to think his last name was Walker. And I speculate that the mothers of two boys had difficult labours because they called their sons “Rage“. “Jecember” was born in June, and “Philadelphia” was born in San Francisco. But the babies that take the cake are the ones who’ll have no trouble remembering how to spell their names when they’re in kindergarten because they’re called “Abcde” (although pronounced Absidee).

Ha ha. He he. Ho ho. But if you’re going to name your kids something that will invite taunting and ridicule, at least have more than one child and give all of them silly names so that they’ll have company.

If you must, the list is here. (via Bits & Pieces) No, no-one has named their kid Moron yet.

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35 thoughts on “Mocking names”

  1. i absolutely know what you are talking about.

    i have this TW colleague that named himself “rascal” !!

    no joke, can you believe that? no not a nickname, is an official name use in work and everywhere.

    so our emails always start with: hi rascal…

    🙂

  2. i absolutely know what you are talking about.

    i have this TW colleague that named himself “rascal” !!

    no joke, can you believe that? no not a nickname, is an official name use in work and everywhere.

    so our emails always start with: hi rascal…

    🙂

  3. hmm i dunno if u have received a namecard from Cassino Koh. I got the card in my mailbox both at home and at work.

    a few yrs ago, an icelandic (i might be wrong) couple wanted to give their kid a name made up of numerals and symbols.

  4. hmm i dunno if u have received a namecard from Cassino Koh. I got the card in my mailbox both at home and at work.

    a few yrs ago, an icelandic (i might be wrong) couple wanted to give their kid a name made up of numerals and symbols.

  5. Mr Miyagi, this is my first time commenting on your blog although I visit it quite frequently. This post made me laugh as I had some memories of ‘weird names’.

    During my first year of Uni, I recall spending my first day of Orientation running around the Uni of Melb campus sorting out all the admin stuff. I was waiting in line at the student admin office to have my student ID made and there was a HK student in front of me (could tell from the English accent). She was a 2nd year student and had wanted to include an english name onto her Student Card (which will ultimately appear on ALL documents!). I kid you not about the next thing which I’m about to tell you!

    When it was her turn, she explained to the old lady at the counter of her request.

    Old lady: “that’s fine sweetheart, just fill up this form and we’ll get it done”
    HK Girl: *scribbling away*
    Old Lady: *looks up and asks …* what name would you like to include in your student card?
    HK Girl: Syphillis
    Old Lady: *silent for a minute* I’m sorry, dear .. could you repeat that?
    HK Girl: Syphillis. It’s spelt as S-Y-P-H-I-L-L-I-S. *Hands form over*
    Old Lady: *mortified* .. my dear, are u sure you want this?
    HK Girl: Yah, can I collect my card later?

    I was trying really hard to contain myself the whole time. The correct spelling is actually Syphilis but who cares right. Omg, I wondered if she had her degree cert conferred to her in that name! Wonder if she had a friend name “Gonorrhea”

  6. Mr Miyagi, this is my first time commenting on your blog although I visit it quite frequently. This post made me laugh as I had some memories of ‘weird names’.

    During my first year of Uni, I recall spending my first day of Orientation running around the Uni of Melb campus sorting out all the admin stuff. I was waiting in line at the student admin office to have my student ID made and there was a HK student in front of me (could tell from the English accent). She was a 2nd year student and had wanted to include an english name onto her Student Card (which will ultimately appear on ALL documents!). I kid you not about the next thing which I’m about to tell you!

    When it was her turn, she explained to the old lady at the counter of her request.

    Old lady: “that’s fine sweetheart, just fill up this form and we’ll get it done”
    HK Girl: *scribbling away*
    Old Lady: *looks up and asks …* what name would you like to include in your student card?
    HK Girl: Syphillis
    Old Lady: *silent for a minute* I’m sorry, dear .. could you repeat that?
    HK Girl: Syphillis. It’s spelt as S-Y-P-H-I-L-L-I-S. *Hands form over*
    Old Lady: *mortified* .. my dear, are u sure you want this?
    HK Girl: Yah, can I collect my card later?

    I was trying really hard to contain myself the whole time. The correct spelling is actually Syphilis but who cares right. Omg, I wondered if she had her degree cert conferred to her in that name! Wonder if she had a friend name “Gonorrhea”

  7. Oh I also forgot to mention that in my company, under our Global address book, there is a guy in HK whose name is Hymen! I thought Rainbow, Orange, Apple and all these were weird enough but Hymen’s gotta be the killer one!

  8. Oh I also forgot to mention that in my company, under our Global address book, there is a guy in HK whose name is Hymen! I thought Rainbow, Orange, Apple and all these were weird enough but Hymen’s gotta be the killer one!

  9. Pingback: DISQUS | Anon

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