I read the news today oh boy

I’m trying to get into the habit of buying newspapers to read. And it is a difficult habit to form, given that I’m so used to reading news online.

I thought it’d be refreshing, the smell of ink, and the tactile dunnowhat and all that. But I didn’t count on the added bonus of the different news angles, and the newspapers’ different agendas.

Such as still trying to promote the free online (as opposed to the paid online) section of the Straits Times, known as Stomp.

“You’re the reporter!”, yells the five coloured fancy font headline accompanying this Sunday’s citizen journalist scoop, which comprised a series of photos depicting policemen leading a jewelry shop robber out of the jewelry shop where he’d just committed the crime.

I read the news today oh boy

Just makes you want to shout – “And we’re the newspaper getting all these pictures for free because we’re empowering you as citizen journalists! No we’re not giving you free subscriptions, but there’s a chance of winning a car! Some time! Soon! When we decide to have another giveaway!”

But you really don’t want to be “the reporter” or “the journalist”, because I hear some of the “real journalists” eat their own kind. They say so themselves:

I read the news today oh boy
And she looks like she means it

But what really disturbed me was the sheer number of bad happenings in Malaysia. I know there was some sort of kerfuffle over what MM Lee Kuan Yew said, though I don’t know exactly what it was that irked the Malaysians so, because, hey, I just started reading the newspapers, as I was saying.

But the Straits Times, thank goodness for the Straits Times, else I would’ve packed everything and driven up north in hope of a better life. Now I know better. Malaysia sucks:

I read the news today oh boy
Measures have been taken to promote pretty ones

I read the news today oh boy
In our country, price caps are a good thing, and never used as a threat

Soaring prices! Ugly divorces! Soaring prices of ugly divorces!

And if you think the issues are not linked to some systemic dysfunction of Malaysia as a whole:

Malaysia's gone to shits?
Are we really consuming so much sugar?

Malaysia's gone to shits?
Hell, yeah!

Malaysia's gone to shits?
OK, Not linked. They drink it black. And we know there’s no sign of the cult’s revival because sales of giant teabags have dwindled

Pity no one reads the Straits Times in Malaysia. Because if they did, they’d know that Singapore and her people are all ready to lend a helping, guiding hand to lead them out of the Dark Ages:

I read the news today oh boy
…for a fee

iTunes is playing an illegal copy of A Day in the Life from the album “1967-1970 Disc 1” by The Beatles of which I have the original CD.

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38 thoughts on “I read the news today oh boy”

  1. stomp should be rename squeal. And it’s fancy headline “you’re the reporter” is just a cover for “you’re the tell-tale-tit” or better yet “we are empowering you to hone your kaypoh skills and rat on your fellow citizens why don’t you”

  2. stomp should be rename squeal. And it’s fancy headline “you’re the reporter” is just a cover for “you’re the tell-tale-tit” or better yet “we are empowering you to hone your kaypoh skills and rat on your fellow citizens why don’t you”

  3. stomp should be rename squeal. And it’s fancy headline “you’re the reporter” is just a cover for “you’re the tell-tale-tit” or better yet “we are empowering you to hone your kaypoh skills and rat on your fellow citizens why don’t you”

  4. “A Day In The Life” is in the compilation album “1967 to 1970” but it originates from the album “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” where it closes an amazing musical trip through 1967’s summer of love. Try it! Mind-expanding, mind-bending stuff…

  5. “A Day In The Life” is in the compilation album “1967 to 1970” but it originates from the album “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” where it closes an amazing musical trip through 1967’s summer of love. Try it! Mind-expanding, mind-bending stuff…

  6. “A Day In The Life” is in the compilation album “1967 to 1970” but it originates from the album “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” where it closes an amazing musical trip through 1967’s summer of love. Try it! Mind-expanding, mind-bending stuff…

  7. if you’re reciding in malaysia, please leave this country and migrate to other countries if you’re so frustrated with this country. no one forcing you to stay…..

  8. if you’re reciding in malaysia, please leave this country and migrate to other countries if you’re so frustrated with this country. no one forcing you to stay…..

  9. if you’re reciding in malaysia, please leave this country and migrate to other countries if you’re so frustrated with this country. no one forcing you to stay…..

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