For the last month, I’ve had a friend who’s a housing agent helping us look for a place to rent. She’s having it tough, making appointments only for me to break them because ‘something’s come up’, and because ‘yeee, I don’t like the place’.
But like buying a car, renting an apartment is rocket science in this country. I have almost no idea what most real estate agents are talking about when they’re trying to sell the place to me. There was this one agent (not my friend – she speech okay) who spoke to me at length about the advantages of the apartment we were viewing:
“This place location good, it’s convenience and shot distance to the Emma Tee. Next tum even better. They billing the Eye Urrer.”
“The Eye Urrer, the gahmen going to bill the Eye Urrer? One in Marina Bay? This one will be bill in Sentosa?”
“The Eye what?”
“The Eye Urrer! Eye Urrer? You know? The Cashino?”
“Orh, the Cashino”.
“Yes! Very convenience!”
“Yest. Now you look insye the master buffroom, there is a bill-in Juckoogee”.
Yes. A Juckoogee. How convenience.