Squatting Matilda

Reservist Briefing
Mr Miyagi receives his medal for ‘Best Army Blogger’

Army briefings are seldom exciting, and yesterday’s one was no different. My unit mates all asked me, “Are you gonna blog this?” or, “Are you gonna blog about this?”, to which I replied, “No lah! So boring, blog what fuck?”

Of course I was kidding. “So boring”, but surely still can blog about it.

Today’s Army story comes by way of an anecdote shared by my platoon mate, in response to the safety and environmental briefing preparing us for Ex Wallaby 2005.

Our Safety Officer (you can spot him – he’s the one with the yellow helmet) told us that among the hazards we’ll be facing in Survivor: Outback Ex Wallaby would be kangaroos and wallabies, because when threatened, they can jump, kick, bite and cause nasty injuries to personnel’s personals.

Platoon mate’s anecdote:

“Last time Ex Wallaby that time, I go and pang sai lah, and usually, I go and shit that time, I go far far away. Because I don’t want my platoon mates to come and jee siao (disturb) me. Because when they shit that time, I also go and jee siao them.

So, I shit that time, I go far far away lah.

So, I shitting and smoking lah, then I look up, got seven kangaroos looking at me. Wah lan eh, I scared to move lah! Because the Safety Officer say, when we see kangaroo, don’t make sudden movement. Because they can attack you.

So I squatting there and smoking. I look at the kangaroo, the kangaroo look at me. Wah lan eh, I squat there damn long.”

And of course we had to ask him, “And then what happened?”

Platoon mate’s killer kangaroo line:

“Then they hop away lor”.

iTunes is playing an illegal copy of Casta Diva, From The Opera “Norma” from the album “2046 Original Soundtrack” by Angela Gheorghiu, Evelino Pido & Lodon Symphony Orchestra of which I have the original CD.

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23 thoughts on “Squatting Matilda”

  1. wahahaha. ‘then they hop away lor’.

    chey. i was hoping for smth to happen. smth along the lines of ‘the kangaroo kicked my butt’.

    but ya. it’s good that he’s safe.

  2. wahahaha. ‘then they hop away lor’.

    chey. i was hoping for smth to happen. smth along the lines of ‘the kangaroo kicked my butt’.

    but ya. it’s good that he’s safe.

  3. wallaby fun meh? i kana phyiscal exhaustion there le cos of kana chased by stupid garang enemy tank. sad thing to me sia!

  4. wallaby fun meh? i kana phyiscal exhaustion there le cos of kana chased by stupid garang enemy tank. sad thing to me sia!

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