Squatting Matilda

Reservist Briefing
Mr Miyagi receives his medal for ‘Best Army Blogger’

Army briefings are seldom exciting, and yesterday’s one was no different. My unit mates all asked me, “Are you gonna blog this?” or, “Are you gonna blog about this?”, to which I replied, “No lah! So boring, blog what fuck?”

Of course I was kidding. “So boring”, but surely still can blog about it.

Today’s Army story comes by way of an anecdote shared by my platoon mate, in response to the safety and environmental briefing preparing us for Ex Wallaby 2005.

Our Safety Officer (you can spot him – he’s the one with the yellow helmet) told us that among the hazards we’ll be facing in Survivor: Outback Ex Wallaby would be kangaroos and wallabies, because when threatened, they can jump, kick, bite and cause nasty injuries to personnel’s personals.

Platoon mate’s anecdote:

“Last time Ex Wallaby that time, I go and pang sai lah, and usually, I go and shit that time, I go far far away. Because I don’t want my platoon mates to come and jee siao (disturb) me. Because when they shit that time, I also go and jee siao them.

So, I shit that time, I go far far away lah.

So, I shitting and smoking lah, then I look up, got seven kangaroos looking at me. Wah lan eh, I scared to move lah! Because the Safety Officer say, when we see kangaroo, don’t make sudden movement. Because they can attack you.

So I squatting there and smoking. I look at the kangaroo, the kangaroo look at me. Wah lan eh, I squat there damn long.”

And of course we had to ask him, “And then what happened?”

Platoon mate’s killer kangaroo line:

“Then they hop away lor”.

iTunes is playing an illegal copy of Casta Diva, From The Opera “Norma” from the album “2046 Original Soundtrack” by Angela Gheorghiu, Evelino Pido & Lodon Symphony Orchestra of which I have the original CD.

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23 responses to “Squatting Matilda”

  1. My RSSs Mr Brown Rockson Roy Ng Stylemywords Scott Adams RSSMiyagi

  2. mystery Tan lines Avatar
    mystery Tan lines

    Roo when Poo?

  3. mystery Tan lines Avatar
    mystery Tan lines

    Roo when Poo?

  4. eLsi3 Avatar

    wahahaha. ‘then they hop away lor’.

    chey. i was hoping for smth to happen. smth along the lines of ‘the kangaroo kicked my butt’.

    but ya. it’s good that he’s safe.

  5. eLsi3 Avatar

    wahahaha. ‘then they hop away lor’.

    chey. i was hoping for smth to happen. smth along the lines of ‘the kangaroo kicked my butt’.

    but ya. it’s good that he’s safe.

  6. tygrr Avatar

    lol
    mr miyagi was from armour!!
    oh well, once armour, always armour
    at least kranji camp is waaay better than sungei gedong

  7. tygrr Avatar

    lol
    mr miyagi was from armour!!
    oh well, once armour, always armour
    at least kranji camp is waaay better than sungei gedong

  8. Han Avatar

    my brother also is in armour, and he says ‘once armour always suffer’.

  9. Han Avatar

    my brother also is in armour, and he says ‘once armour always suffer’.

  10. Mr. Wang Kai Avatar

    Miyagi…
    the talkr… is kinda weird.
    haha.. u noe how those translation dictionary reads…
    mmm…

  11. Mr. Wang Kai Avatar

    Miyagi…
    the talkr… is kinda weird.
    haha.. u noe how those translation dictionary reads…
    mmm…

  12. 9 Avatar

    Hahaha them kangaroos! joeys!

  13. 9 Avatar

    Hahaha them kangaroos! joeys!

  14. jinx Avatar

    MR MIYAGI! I MAY BE GOING EX WALLABY WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU =P

  15. jinx Avatar

    MR MIYAGI! I MAY BE GOING EX WALLABY WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU =P

  16. yallo Avatar
    yallo

    man I hope I get to go Ex Wallaby too… but chances are really slim now… sigh sigh

  17. yallo Avatar
    yallo

    man I hope I get to go Ex Wallaby too… but chances are really slim now… sigh sigh

  18. D Avatar
    D

    it’s so amazingly amusing to hear an angmoh voice speaking singlish. 🙂

  19. D Avatar
    D

    it’s so amazingly amusing to hear an angmoh voice speaking singlish. 🙂

  20. E Avatar
    E

    I would be there too! Enjoy your ATEC! Do well and cho bo lan 1 year for reservist!

  21. E Avatar
    E

    I would be there too! Enjoy your ATEC! Do well and cho bo lan 1 year for reservist!

  22. law46sar Avatar
    law46sar

    wallaby fun meh? i kana phyiscal exhaustion there le cos of kana chased by stupid garang enemy tank. sad thing to me sia!

  23. law46sar Avatar
    law46sar

    wallaby fun meh? i kana phyiscal exhaustion there le cos of kana chased by stupid garang enemy tank. sad thing to me sia!

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