Bodily Mass Index

Was it Thursday’s Straits Times front page (this link and the whole website it points to will self-destruct in.. wait… now?) that got everyone fiddling with their mobile phone’s calculator to measure their Blubber Mass Index?

There I was, this whole week, getting worked up over the gays cause AIDS issue and the why nobody reported the dengue epidemic issue, when all of a sudden I started asking people, eh, what’s your BMI? Fuck, I’m fat! Are you?

Not half as colourful as the way a reservist platoon mate puts it: Nabeh! Ang Moh always different standard! Pay also higher, BMI allowance also higher, Lan Cheow also bigger, fuck lah, like that how to compete?

Speaking of competition, a friend who’s an entrepreneur (no, not LMD) tells me that Ang Mohs are actually better customers than locals. They don’t haggle as much, and they don’t say stupid things like:

I came to your shop and it was closed. You should’ve put up a ‘CLOSED’ sign so I know it was closed.

to which my friend couldn’t help but respond with:

OK, next time I close I’ll put up a ‘CLOSED’ signboard so you, living in Clementi, will know that we are closed because you can see Chinatown from there.

This was the same customer who said:

I am coming at 11.30.

when my friend had said:

We open at 12.

I think they’ve got too much fat in their brains.

Orchids
Vanda Miss Nabeh Flower Also Got Ang Moh Name!

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Casta Diva, From The Opera “Norma” – Angela Gheorghiu, Evelino Pido & Lodon Symphony Orchestra – 2046 Original Soundtrack, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.
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13 thoughts on “Bodily Mass Index”

  1. i guess singaporeans are .. laughably cute when they are .. not very smart. i have people telling me their desktop do not run on power but on battery, thinking to close the application windows on the desktop means to go around the house cutting off their ventilation (by closing their windows no doubt) and that to move their mouse around the desktop means to lift the mouse till it is perpendicularly 90 degrees ON the computer screen and then try to move the mouse around .. i kid you not.

  2. i guess singaporeans are .. laughably cute when they are .. not very smart. i have people telling me their desktop do not run on power but on battery, thinking to close the application windows on the desktop means to go around the house cutting off their ventilation (by closing their windows no doubt) and that to move their mouse around the desktop means to lift the mouse till it is perpendicularly 90 degrees ON the computer screen and then try to move the mouse around .. i kid you not.

  3. sad but it seems true, the bloody ang mohs are bigger, have better facial features and are more well endowed than us dammit. and then the asian chicks who are more physiologically attractive will be snatched by the ang mohs guys, leaving pathetic asian guys like me with no alternative since i can’t jio ang moh chicks either. sigh..

    so the antropological consequences are that the average singaporean joe will then have to find vietnam/china brides, which will leave the poor viet and china guys at the bottom of the mating food chain LOL

  4. sad but it seems true, the bloody ang mohs are bigger, have better facial features and are more well endowed than us dammit. and then the asian chicks who are more physiologically attractive will be snatched by the ang mohs guys, leaving pathetic asian guys like me with no alternative since i can’t jio ang moh chicks either. sigh..

    so the antropological consequences are that the average singaporean joe will then have to find vietnam/china brides, which will leave the poor viet and china guys at the bottom of the mating food chain LOL

  5. I suspect Lianhe Zaobao is running something on the BMIs because my mom conducted an entire exercise involving the height/weight measuring of the family. And no, she doesn’t read English at all.

  6. I suspect Lianhe Zaobao is running something on the BMIs because my mom conducted an entire exercise involving the height/weight measuring of the family. And no, she doesn’t read English at all.

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