Touching base

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing a copy of: Brick – Ben Folds Five – Whatever And Ever Amen, of which I have the original CD and therefore didn’t steal music.

Sometimes, some long lost acquaintances will call and say hi, saying it’s been a while since they ‘touched base’ with me. I usually say hi back, but inside, I’m saying ‘what da fuck do you mean ‘touch base’? My base is not for you to touch. Touch my base and you outrage my modesty’.

Touching base is an Americanism. You touch base with acquaintances or business contacts you wouldn’t otherwise contact. You touch base with people who are an after-thought to you at best. You touch base to assuage your guilt or absolve yourself for not keeping in contact. Touching base is superficial. Touching base usually serves no purpose unless you have a motive.

I have been naive enough to think that some people mean well when they touch base. A reasonably well-known local celebrity who is currently parading in swimwear on some Chinese serial about people parading in swimwear once touched base with me, said she missed ‘the times we had together’, got me to add her to my Friendster list, and then stopped calling me cold. As ridiculous as that sounds, that was her motive. She now has like 500+ friendsters on her Friendster list.

Another recent base toucher is another ‘celebrity’, operating out of KL, who attempted touching base because he wanted free legal advice for some business he is setting up there. Something to do with managing celebrities. You know these celebrities and their nonsense businesses. Very nonsense. And they like touching bases.

Base touchers don’t really care about what you’ve been up to and how you’ve been, unless it affects them.

Base touchers lurk everywhere. So the next time someone calls and tells you he or she is calling to touch base, he or she is likely to have recently embarked on a new career as an insurance salesperson, a telemarketer, a multi-level marketing telemarketer, or a multi-level marketing insurance sales telemarketer. Or if, like me, you used to work in the entertainment industry, she could just be an insecure starlet looking to add you to her Friendster list. Doesn’t hurt to have a bikini babe on your list, actually. Yeah. She can come touch my base any day.

Nice pics in the papers the other day. Call me. We’ll do coffee.

Tioman 2002
No, it’s not too soon to say I need another holiday.

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33 thoughts on “Touching base”

  1. Er…. to be frank, my acquaintances never did used the phrase ‘touch base’ in our conversations. Not ang mo enough, I think. But I guess the underlying meaning behind their calls is the same.

  2. Er…. to be frank, my acquaintances never did used the phrase ‘touch base’ in our conversations. Not ang mo enough, I think. But I guess the underlying meaning behind their calls is the same.

  3. Heya again πŸ™‚

    That picture reminded me of Fiji. What are more annoying than acquaintance touch-basers – relative touchbasers, especially those who have started their own MLM businesses.

  4. Heya again πŸ™‚

    That picture reminded me of Fiji. What are more annoying than acquaintance touch-basers – relative touchbasers, especially those who have started their own MLM businesses.

  5. That picture is of Kampung Genting, Tioman.

    OK, Re-minisce, howzithangin’? let’s do coffee!

    I think ‘Touch Base’ is a sporting term, from baseball or something, which is probably why I dislike it, because I’m a cricket man. And I play it with a straight bat, and I’ll carry my bat through the innings till it’s time to pull up stumps.

    Whatever made you think it’s ‘Delirious Dreams?’ Huh? Huh? Huh?

  6. That picture is of Kampung Genting, Tioman.

    OK, Re-minisce, howzithangin’? let’s do coffee!

    I think ‘Touch Base’ is a sporting term, from baseball or something, which is probably why I dislike it, because I’m a cricket man. And I play it with a straight bat, and I’ll carry my bat through the innings till it’s time to pull up stumps.

    Whatever made you think it’s ‘Delirious Dreams?’ Huh? Huh? Huh?

  7. My guess is that “touch base” is a baseball term.

    Another Americanism that has crept up in the conversations of Singaporeans is “ball-park figure”. Also from baseball, I think.

    “What ball-park figure ? Do you even know what a ball-park is, and how big is it ? Say ‘agak-agak’ lah !”

  8. My guess is that “touch base” is a baseball term.

    Another Americanism that has crept up in the conversations of Singaporeans is “ball-park figure”. Also from baseball, I think.

    “What ball-park figure ? Do you even know what a ball-park is, and how big is it ? Say ‘agak-agak’ lah !”

  9. things i discovered while reading this blog entry…

    -you listen to ben folds’ “brick” (i think its a great song)

    -you have friendster… *snigger*

    -people actually use touch base in singapore *wags finger* i am afraid of americans *hums…*

    -the parading swimwear girl is superficial! oh, but wait! …i thought everyone already knew that;)

    -you know giggly flo

    anyway i hate genting; i prefer nipah and juara. Have you been there? πŸ™‚

  10. things i discovered while reading this blog entry…

    -you listen to ben folds’ “brick” (i think its a great song)

    -you have friendster… *snigger*

    -people actually use touch base in singapore *wags finger* i am afraid of americans *hums…*

    -the parading swimwear girl is superficial! oh, but wait! …i thought everyone already knew that;)

    -you know giggly flo

    anyway i hate genting; i prefer nipah and juara. Have you been there? πŸ™‚

  11. http://www.tioman.com.my/
    http://www.mukutislandconnection.com.my/

    nipah is one of the smaller kampungs on the island. really cosy and quiet= nice. and you can do excellent snorkelling there. not much operators, so the underwater habitat is good. not a white sand beach like salang, but everything else makes up for it. you can book a place from island connections in mersing.

    southernmost? i think mukut. good for fishing and relaxing, but not much else…

    can’t think of any reason why anyone would go to tekek. i hate that place! super duper ugly πŸ™ the only reason i was there, was to get to juara…

    juara… heaven πŸ™‚

  12. http://www.tioman.com.my/
    http://www.mukutislandconnection.com.my/

    nipah is one of the smaller kampungs on the island. really cosy and quiet= nice. and you can do excellent snorkelling there. not much operators, so the underwater habitat is good. not a white sand beach like salang, but everything else makes up for it. you can book a place from island connections in mersing.

    southernmost? i think mukut. good for fishing and relaxing, but not much else…

    can’t think of any reason why anyone would go to tekek. i hate that place! super duper ugly πŸ™ the only reason i was there, was to get to juara…

    juara… heaven πŸ™‚

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