Snookered

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There’s this friend of mine who plays pool as poorly as I do. Our philosophy behind our game (or lack of) is ‘the path of least resistance’. We can make the cue ball miss every damn thing except the pockets. We can make a coin-operated pool game last half an hour if we played each other. But he has a theory.

He believes that the game of pool (and possibly, snooker) is the domain of Bengs and their molls. The better you are at it, the Benger you are. Or Lianer, for that matter. He goes further:

If you are good at pool, you are likely to be:

1) Homophobic, or don’t have any gay friends
2) Good with cars, or at least think that a great car is one that cannot clear a speed bump
3) Not very well read
4) A soccer fan
5) An avid gambler
6) Really fast at SMSing
7) Prone to putting emphasis on the wrong syllable when saying ‘Lavender Street’.

My friend said a coupla things more, but I think he’s just jealous he can’t really play pool. ‘Cos the wife, who plays a reasonably mean game at times, isn’t much of a Lian, really. And neither is the sweetie who whipped mine and the boys’ arses at pool last night, though she does drive good.


“…for those viewers with black and white televisions, the blue ball is behind the pink one…”

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14 responses to “Snookered”

  1. Cowboy Caleb Avatar

    Oh shit, I’m a beng only I am no good at smsing but am well read.

    Can I be a 0.75 beng?

  2. Cowboy Caleb Avatar

    Oh shit, I’m a beng only I am no good at smsing but am well read.

    Can I be a 0.75 beng?

  3. twinklinggem Avatar

    This post has been removed by the author.

  4. twinklinggem Avatar

    This post has been removed by the author.

  5. twinklinggem Avatar

    There was a typo above. (Look up) I always lie to pple that I can whoop their ass so they’ll want to challenge me and pay for pool game. So I guess that makes me cheapo ah lian LAH! 🙂

  6. twinklinggem Avatar

    There was a typo above. (Look up) I always lie to pple that I can whoop their ass so they’ll want to challenge me and pay for pool game. So I guess that makes me cheapo ah lian LAH! 🙂

  7. Mr Miyagi Avatar

    Of course you can, Caleb. Just have to read less, and make sure you pronounce ‘Lavender’ incorrectly, and you’re on your way to Bengdom.

  8. Mr Miyagi Avatar

    Of course you can, Caleb. Just have to read less, and make sure you pronounce ‘Lavender’ incorrectly, and you’re on your way to Bengdom.

  9. Little Miss Drinkalot Avatar

    The correct way to pronounce it is “LER-van-der”.

  10. Little Miss Drinkalot Avatar

    The correct way to pronounce it is “LER-van-der”.

  11. vortexstorm Avatar

    alas, now i know why i suck at pool. =p

  12. vortexstorm Avatar

    alas, now i know why i suck at pool. =p

  13. cour marly Avatar

    Boy, I used to love to play so much that one of my US farewell gatherings was at some preppy pool hall where we played by the hour.

    I really suck at it now though.

  14. cour marly Avatar

    Boy, I used to love to play so much that one of my US farewell gatherings was at some preppy pool hall where we played by the hour.

    I really suck at it now though.

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