There’s this friend of mine who plays pool as poorly as I do. Our philosophy behind our game (or lack of) is ‘the path of least resistance’. We can make the cue ball miss every damn thing except the pockets. We can make a coin-operated pool game last half an hour if we played each other. But he has a theory.
If you are good at pool, you are likely to be:
1) Homophobic, or don’t have any gay friends
2) Good with cars, or at least think that a great car is one that cannot clear a speed bump
3) Not very well read
4) A soccer fan
5) An avid gambler
6) Really fast at SMSing
7) Prone to putting emphasis on the wrong syllable when saying ‘Lavender Street’.
My friend said a coupla things more, but I think he’s just jealous he can’t really play pool. ‘Cos the wife, who plays a reasonably mean game at times, isn’t much of a Lian, really. And neither is the sweetie who whipped mine and the boys’ arses at pool last night, though she does drive good.
“…for those viewers with black and white televisions, the blue ball is behind the pink one…”