Fresh from the chicken’s bottom

iTunes’ party shuffle is playing: The Red Rooster – Howlin’ Wolf – Moanin’ At Midnight – 20 Blues Classics


Pssst. I have pirated eggs. You want? Sell you cheap. As good as the real thing.

The egg rationing crisis is more severe than I thought. Firstly because it featured in work conversation during a business meeting (yes, I work Sundays, but outdoors and at a nice location by the sea), then at dinner conversation at home.

My brother-in-law says he tried the wet markets in the vicinity of Holland Village and came back empty handed, and decided to head to Upper Thomson, where he found a grocer’s that had eggs on trays. He asked to buy them, but the grocer said those were reserved for ‘long-time customers and residents in the area’, and asked him for his I.C.!

Brother-in-law was pretty miffed about it. But then he’s easily miffed about things.

One of my colleagues says he went to NTUC where he had to purchase at least $20 worth of groceries before you were allowed to buy eggs. Same deal at Cold Storage, only you have to stack your trolley with $50 worth of goods.

At restaurants, there were no eggs to be had. Actually, got lah, but a little egg spread over a lot of rice or something.

My dad says, ‘you know, they have those liquified eggs they use?’.

And I say, ‘yeah, scrambled eggs can lah, but cannot use for mata lembu (sunny side up) leh.

Then my brother says, ‘yeah, you know, you can make a lot of money as a trainer/motivational speaker if you can make the chickens lay more eggs. Seng Choon Farms will pay you a lot’.

How not to humour him? So I ask him how he’d motivate chickens to lay more eggs if he were a trainer/motivational speaker trained in motivating chickens to lay more eggs.

‘You feed them a lot, then you scare them. Sure lay eggs one.’

Then he thinks about it for a bit, and says, ‘but then the eggs come out all wrong size wrong shape’.

Then I think about it for a bit, but ask him, ‘eh, you got badminton racquet I can borrow?’

‘Got. But you better don’t break it. Badminton racquets not like last time $10 one’.

Facebook Comments

18 thoughts on “Fresh from the chicken’s bottom”

  1. My parents were so eggcited to find eggs at a Shop & Save, and promptly bought 2 dozen (no min purchase, just quota).

    Unfortunately, they were the stalest eggs we’ve ever eaten. It’s like someone found a batch in the back corner of the storeroom and brought them out to sell. Yech.

    No more eggs for us.

  2. My parents were so eggcited to find eggs at a Shop & Save, and promptly bought 2 dozen (no min purchase, just quota).

    Unfortunately, they were the stalest eggs we’ve ever eaten. It’s like someone found a batch in the back corner of the storeroom and brought them out to sell. Yech.

    No more eggs for us.

  3. Eggo jungo! It’s been a tough week on them eggies. I had my caesar salad topped up with extra lettuce and croutons but without my eggies, ‘kway chap’ without the eggies, fried rice with teenie bits of eggies…Thank goodness it ain’t easter or the grabbit’s outta job. 😛

  4. Eggo jungo! It’s been a tough week on them eggies. I had my caesar salad topped up with extra lettuce and croutons but without my eggies, ‘kway chap’ without the eggies, fried rice with teenie bits of eggies…Thank goodness it ain’t easter or the grabbit’s outta job. 😛

  5. Umm I have to admit I am not experiencing this shortage of eggs much. Maybe cos I don’t eat much eggy food. In fact, when I had to bake a cake, I happily took 3 eggs from my mother’s fridge. oops. hehe.

  6. Umm I have to admit I am not experiencing this shortage of eggs much. Maybe cos I don’t eat much eggy food. In fact, when I had to bake a cake, I happily took 3 eggs from my mother’s fridge. oops. hehe.

  7. Racquet for to play badminton, because I have an hour’s break every day where I work, and there is an unused badminton court.

    Yuck, eggless mee rebus.

    Yuck, stale eggs.

    Yuck, eggless kway chap, char png, caesar salad.

    LMD and Jellygirl win. Got egg in popiah and egg in cake.

  8. Racquet for to play badminton, because I have an hour’s break every day where I work, and there is an unused badminton court.

    Yuck, eggless mee rebus.

    Yuck, stale eggs.

    Yuck, eggless kway chap, char png, caesar salad.

    LMD and Jellygirl win. Got egg in popiah and egg in cake.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *