Wanted: For stupid pose

If you were an Interpol-wanted fugitive, you’d want to have a cooler mugshot. But then, you’re from Singapore and you work for an employer who doesn’t have any other photo to give to the authorities:

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So, I give you, Singapore’s two most wanted men:

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Mas Selamat

Sunday parker

Blogging-wise, the new year hasn’t gotten off to a good start. But I’ve found a little bit of time to do the time-honoured thing of blogging about assholes.

You know if you’ve ever driven into the car park at Shaw Centre, that the place was designed by architects who either don’t drive, or when they were drafting the plans for the place, didn’t consider the little detail about how drivers and passengers like to get out of their cars once they park.

But even if it is all the fault of the architects and the owners of the car park, some people still find it within themselves to be complete assholes on a Sunday when parking is particularly scarce because for some reason the whole of Singapore decides they want to buy something from the Hokkaido Food Fair at the basement of Isetan.

You sir/madam/goddamn motherparker, are an idiot and should pay double the parking charge:

Asshole of the day

Day at the vet’s

Day at the vet's

I spent the morning at the vet’s with Mac Our Dog, and it was a particularly busy morning there, with the receptionist at sixes and sevens, and though she was trying her humanly (and doggedly and cattedly) best to cope, Mac and I had to wait about an hour before we saw the vet, and when we did, the consultation rooms were all full so the vet actually came out to the reception area to see Mac.

Which was good of course, because Mac Our Dog has an understandable fear of the consultation rooms – he’s pretty happy in the reception area because he thinks it’s a wonderful place full of other people and animals. But once he’s in a consultation room, memories of needles and other cold and painful instruments assault his senses and he’s so stressed out you want to look for doggie cigarettes for him to calm his nerves.

The good thing with the wait was that Mac Our Dog got to make lots of friends (and piss some of them off with his over-friendliness), most notably a English Bulldog whose first action upon seeing Mac was a play-bow, (an invitational gesture to play – for those not in the know) which drove Mac nuts – which meant that Mac next attempted to hump the (male) bulldog.

If you’re unfamiliar with Mac Our Dog, here’s where I tell you that Mac Our Dog humps everything that moves, although he has a preference for human legs.

The bulldog wasn’t the least bit offended by Mac’s forwardness, and I was afraid he was going to be mauled or at least severely barked at. But no. The bulldog attempted to return the compliment instead, and what ensued was a merry dance of dogs, handlers and leashes, much to the delight of the dozen people who had been waiting half the morning to see the vet.

Standing for a long time next to me waiting to get the attention of the receptionist was a couple in their 60s carrying a small animal in a bag which upon some conversation revealed itself to be a five year old rabbit with a large tumour on its chest.

Day at the vet'sLucky The Rabbit’s gone under the vet’s knife a few months previously to remove several similar tumours, and his bald patch from that surgery hasn’t even had time to grow back. But his doting owners just want to make sure he’s ok, and don’t see themselves as having any other choice than forking out another thousand bucks to get Lucky’s tumours out.

“It’s between his arms“, the couple corrected me in Cantonese when I suggested to them that the tumour being between his front legs would pose problems with Lucky’s movements.

“He’s very “kuai”, and sits down with us to watch tv every day”, says Auntie, who also tells me Lucky was found downstairs of their flat, abandoned by his previous owners.

“If we don’t let him have surgery, then we don’t know what to do” she says, as the receptionist finally calls for me and Mac to get our prescription and bill.

Uncle just looks at Lucky and very gently strokes him from behind his bunny ears while Mac goes nuts at the sight of two Shi-Tzus being slung from the shoulders of another irate owner who’s been kept waiting for most of the morning as well.