Shrinking Singapore

The economy is shrinking, so what better time than now to muck around and shrink everything else with some special photo effects.

I recently learned about something called ’tilt-shifting’, which is a photographic technique I haven’t been able to wrap my brain around, but which allows you to ‘fake’ miniturizations.

Photographer Keith Loutit manages to do a wonderful interpretation of Sydney.

And what I did after looking at Loutit’s work was sift through my iPhoto and Flickr collections and pick out a couple of photos that would lend themselves well to ’tilt-shifting’ via Photoshop, and followed the tips I found online on how to fake tilt-shift lens using Photoshop.

Before:

Good Morning Singapore
Marina Bay

Bras Basah
Bras Basah

After:

Scale model of Fullerton area

Shrinking Bras Basah

Who is keeping us safe

SN204386

Our security guard comes to work at around 7am and knocks off at 6pm, and one of his responsibilities is to wave – to me / at me / vaguely in my direction, when I’m driving out or driving home.

When I’m walking the dog out of the condo compound, his waves linger just a little longer, more like a salute, and is sometimes accompanied by a ‘good morning’, or ‘makan already ah?’

He is diligent enough to ask anyone who stops by his guard post to ask for directions where they think they want to go. Otherwise, if you just mosey up the driveway looking like you know what you’re doing, and where you’re going, he won’t bother you in the least. He has such respect for purposeful people.

Most days he’s seen on his mobile phone, yammering away in Tamil about life in general before lunchtime beckons, and he rides off somewhere to take lunch before coming back an hour later to take up his post and call someone on the phone again to talk 29 to the dozen.

So I am a little bewildered one morning as I walk Mac, that he approaches me and in the thickest Tamil accent, says, “Food ah, your dog ah, food ah, he eat ah, no ah, eat ah, no ah, eat ah. beef ah, last night function ah, poolside ah, beef ah, your dog ah, eat ah. No ah? Cannot ah?”

It is only in the middle of that sentence that he points to the grass verge, at a plastic container of what looks like beef rendang, only with a gazillion ants trying to drown themselves in it because they figure they can’t carry the whole thing off, might as well eat and die there.

“No, cannot”, I say, because not only is Mac not allowed to eat human food, rendang would’ve given him the shits, and rendang with ants, worse.

Why ah? Cannot ah? Beef ah? Can ah”, says Security Guard Man in response.

I am kinda tired that morning, so I simply say “Cannot, thank you”, and walk off with Mac in tow, and as I do, Security Guard Man goes on for a bit, saying, “cannot ah? beef ah? cannot ah? your dog ah? can ah? cannot ah?” before he trails off, with a final “ah“, like a sigh.

Yay weekend!

An early Christmas wish

Fried fish

Please Santa, if you will come by this Christmas, bring for our neighbour downstairs of us:

A cooker hood extractor fan that is really powerful and that is ducted to discharge the smell from their kitchen out through the other side of the building instead of the stairwell because they always leave their front door open and they really really like to eat fish that smells like it’s been deep fried in palm oil.

It’s not so bad if it’s between quotation marks

Breaking News
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Don’t worry, it’s not really a recession. It’s just a “recession“. Technical recession. Not a full-blown one, which will come next year.
When you put things between quotation marks, it means it’s not real.

Which is probably why it’s ok to raise electricity tariffs by 22%.

It’s actually quite fun putting quotation marks in news articles and seeing how the tone changes:

Channelnewsasia.com
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