We don’t serve plain water, only the fancy kind

1 Rochester
Maybe I can lick the dew off the leaves

OK, the waiter didn’t say that, but it means the same thing. And I’ve blogged about this before.

We were invited to birth­day drinks on Sat­ur­day at 1 Rochester, here­inafter known as 1 Of The Places In Sin­ga­pore That Will Not Serve You A Glass Of Water Gratis.

It is very humid in Sin­ga­pore, and I think it gets worse at night, and I think it should be man­dated that all al-fresco din­ing estab­lish­ments must serve plain water, as it is known in Sin­ga­pore, to din­ers who ask for it.

Not only does 1 Rochester not do that, their wait staff have also not been clearly instructed as to the pol­icy of the man­age­ment. One of their oth­er­wise friendly and patient wait­ers appar­ently tells one of our parched friends that he’ll only get a glass of water gratis if he orders a main course.

So, not only did we order mains, we ordered a cou­ple of fruit sodas as well, and when we asked if we could have a glass of water on the side as well, see­ing as we’ve worked up a bit of sweat try­ing to will a vacant park­ing lot to appear in the car park whose gantry still lifts up when the damn place is full, the waiter says, all sheep­ish like, that he is “sorry but we don’t serve plain water, would you like a bot­tle of San Pel­le­grino instead?”

So we explain that we were told that with an order of main course comes the priv­i­lege of hav­ing a glass of water. The hith­erto friendly and sheep­ish waiter baulks and asks, “which waiter told you that?”, but as soon as he’s said that, prob­a­bly realises that his tone of voice might earn him a rebuke or two, responds in what he prob­a­bly thinks is a con­ces­sion to really unrea­son­able cus­tomers, that, “alright I don’t know who told you that, but since you were told that, I will serve ice-water all round, but nor­mally we don’t serve plain water”.

And so, drinks arrived, and we emp­tied our glasses of fancy sodas and plain water till our hearts’ con­tent and our blad­ders’ capac­ity while wish­ing the birth­day girl many happy returns, and grum­bling about how it should be man­dated that all al-fresco din­ing estab­lish­ments must serve plain water, as it is known in Sin­ga­pore, to din­ers who ask for it, because, come on, tap water doesn’t cost you much per glass.

When my main course was served, it was the wrong order, but you know, fuck it, it’s late and I really didn’t want to be made to feel as if I was the one that made the mistake.

One Rochester
1 Rochester Park
Sin­ga­pore 139212 (map)
Tel: 6773 0070

View Comments

  • Which waiter/waitress/receptionist/stewardess/salesman/hyderabad call cen­tre oper­a­tor told you that ?”

    The cus­tomer expe­ri­ence just goes down the s***hole when that ques­tion comes up, doesn’t it ?

  • Indeed it does.

  • Bot­tled water has become Pub­lic Enemy #2 here in Hong Kong (after plas­tic bags) because of the (1) car­bon emis­sions from their ship­ment from their bot­tling source and (2) the non-biodegradable waste from the plas­tic bot­tles used for many of the brands.

    But some restau­rants use the excuse of “old pipes” or “cus­tomers detect­ing funny taste” to weasel out of serv­ing free tap water.

    Which makes me won­der what they make their soups and ice cubes out of … …

  • aromacookery wrote:

    This prac­tice seems to get­ting more preva­lent. I boy­cotted Bak­erzin cos they also had a no-water pol­icy, but now they have done a U-turn on this issue. Hope more F&B out­lets will fol­low suit!

  • I’ve not dined at Bak­erzin because I didn’t like the food when I did. :)

  • lincoln wrote:

    You know you have just gone over to num­ber 2 Rochester.…

  • Thought about it very seri­ously. Then decided it wasn’t good form to
    aban­don the birth­day drinks party.

  • Debbie wrote:

    I actu­ally bitched about this pol­icy in an online forum eons ago, about some rah-rah Ital­ian restau­rant that has since closed down. These days, I just make it a point to boy­cott such eater­ies. With so many choices avail­able in Sin­ga­pore, the smart con­sumer knows which places to sup­port and which ones not to.

  • lincoln wrote:

    That’s true… it would have been even worst form if i got my guys to send the water to you from my side. hahaha

  • this reminds me of that one time i was at drinks with E@L [update your blogroll, man :) ]. except i wasn’t hav­ing a drink because i was self-propelling myself that night. so i stuck to nib­bles and then asked for the life­sav­ing liq­uid that springs from faucet rather than from spring. to which, of course, they said no, get the spring one not the sprung one, if you know what i mean. seven @%!(_^~ dol­lars for a 200ml bot­tle. i made noise but no use. ordered one any­way and by the time i opened the bot­tle and sniffed at it, it was gone. still thirsty (told you, self-propelling). then E@L has an idea:

    excuse me, do you serve tea?
    yes sir.
    is it the teabag type or teh tarik.
    teabag sir (simul­ta­ne­ously per­plexed and snooty)
    and i can have as much hot water as i want?
    yes sir.
    ok, i want a pot of hot water please.
    what kind of tea sir?
    no just the hot water.
    uhh. ok sir.

    comes the hot water. next:

    hi
    yes sir
    bring me a bucket of ice please. and an empty glass if you would be so kind.
    right away sir.

    e@l turns around and beams at me with a knobby-so-dumb-ordered-$7-water look on his face. and there i was ready to barge into the kitchen and demand access to a tap.

  • this reminds me of that one time i was at drinks with E@L [update your blogroll, man :) ]. except i wasn’t hav­ing a drink because i was self-propelling myself that night. so i stuck to nib­bles and then asked for the life­sav­ing liq­uid that springs from faucet rather than from spring. to which, of course, they said no, get the spring one not the sprung one, if you know what i mean. seven @%!(_^~ dol­lars for a 200ml bot­tle. i made noise but no use. ordered one any­way and by the time i opened the bot­tle and sniffed at it, it was gone. still thirsty (told you, self-propelling). then E@L has an idea:

    excuse me, do you serve tea?
    yes sir.
    is it the teabag type or teh tarik.
    teabag sir (simul­ta­ne­ously per­plexed and snooty)
    and i can have as much hot water as i want?
    yes sir.
    ok, i want a pot of hot water please.
    what kind of tea sir?
    no just the hot water.
    uhh. ok sir.

    comes the hot water. next:

    hi
    yes sir
    bring me a bucket of ice please. and an empty glass if you would be so kind.
    right away sir.

    e@l turns around and beams at me with a knobby-so-dumb-ordered-$7-water look on his face. and there i was ready to barge into the kitchen and demand access to a tap.

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