Question 24

I’ve been told I don’t answer questions. Not by keeping silent, but by saying something totally unrelated (and infuriating).

Exempli Gratia:

Q: What is your favourite colour?

A: OK.

temasekholdings.pngI’ve just realised my overwhelming tendency to do this qualifies me for a job at one of our nation’s finest corporations. You know? The one that had (yes, past tense probably correct) an employee who attached the wrong file to an outgoing email to the press?

The document at issue (via tomorrow.sg) contains questions which were meant to train executives how to handle the press when questioned as regards the purchase of Standard Chartered stock. I give you question 24 and the answer given:

Q: How is Temasek funding this investment?

A: We have the necessary funding for this investment.

I am sending in my CV tomorrow.

If you’re also of the same ilk, and would like to see if you qualify, all you need to do is answer questions like this commenter did on one of mrbrown’s blog entries: Link.

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Climate of fear no more!

sex toy question on google
miyagi.sg – for answers to all the questions you were afraid to ask

So there’s a couple in Singapore who want to spice up their sex life by supplementing it with some equipment, and what do they do? Google the question, ‘are we allowed to buy sex toy’.

Allow Mr Miyagi to inform all and sundry that the answer is a resounding ‘yes‘!

contrabannedAlso, just last weekend, I was chuffed to see at a pharmacist’s that there was chewing gum to be bought. I had heard that we could buy gum now that the ban’s been partially lifted, and so, eagerly bought two packs after registering myself at the pharmacy as a gum user, leaving my name, NRIC No., and the type of chewing gum I was intending to use. (It was the tooth whitening type – purely for pharmaceutical use).

There you have it, people! You can buy sex toys and chew gum! And with the Progress Package notification I received in the mail the other day, you could say I am one happy citizen! I’m gonna use the $300 to buy sex toys and chewing gum!

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TODAY: Vigilante justice, blogger-style

vigilante.jpgHave computer will condemn – poor car parkers be warned

YOU’RE looking for a parking space at Suntec City and there it is — a red Subaru parked across two lots.

Makes your blood boil, doesn’t it?

Now, you can take a picture of the offending car and send it to Parking Idiots in Singapore (parkingidiots.blogspot.com), a blog inspired by the American website, Parking Idiots (www.parkingidiots.com), where the tagline reads: “Your parking is our amusement.”

Not merely for amusement, the Singapore edition of Parking Idiots contains photographs of cars parked illegally or just without consideration for other car park users.

Read more at TODAYonline: [pdf][text]

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Promoting criminal activity should be criminal

Singapore National Flag
No Invisible Man Allowed

On Saturday, whispers were heard (damn loud lah, these whisperers), that some party organised by Fridae.com had been cancelled because the police had contacted the venue owners (MoS) and warned them that if the party had gone ahead, they’d ‘come to the club to shut the party down and take action against the club.’

Apparently, the reason given by the police was that the venue owners would be ‘promoting gay activities’.

I suppose if you drew a very very long bow you could possibly say that that was akin to abetting a crime. And you know we live in a place sometimes known as the land of the long long bow.

Beer promoters at coffee shops, watch out, your number is up next. Drink driving is a serious crime, you know?

You know how terrible you lot are, you aunties in your skimpy tiger beer outfits, promoting your vile and evil nectar so convincingly that I cannot help but partake of it when I know damn well it causes me harm.

This isn’t new, you know? So, I really don’t know what the big fuss is about.

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Podcast: wonders of singapore 1, katong

katong.jpgKatong is a much vaunted suburb. The people who live out here and hereabouts are dead proud of the area and are so blase about its many little quirks that they pretend that it’s nothing out of the ordinary when someone from any other, less interesting, part of Singapore say something along the lines of ‘eh, so cute, the red house, so antique, so quaint.’

It takes a tour guide like ‘Noodle Chia’ (full name Chia Mee Kiah) to show you the real Katong, warts, massage parlours and all.

This podcast is sponsored by Okamoto Condoms. Don’t forget to enter yourself in the Okamoto Condoms Contest, and stand a chance to win up to $1,000 in cash prizes!

Podcast: the mrbrown show 27 March 2006: wonders of singapore 1, katong
(MP3, Filesize: 8.7mb, Time: 00:17:03)

Subscribe:[feed][iTunes]

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